Suicide Note

Dear...

I apologise for my abrupt, unexpected, departure from this life draining Earth... once home, once a great place to explore in ignorance. Now ticking clocks unable to stop, every second gone by, another closer to an inevitable end. "Life is what you make of it"... well I sure fucked that up... anxiety, tick, tick, tick, tick... clock keeps on, tap tap tap tap tap... uncontrollable tapping of my foot watching people walk by filled with ignorance - oh how I wish...

Anxiety grows, wondering "What if?"

Constant idiocy filling the airwaves of our radios, frequency scrambles during a song and I hear the voices of another racist pig trying to justify why his race needs more... is it not old news? Everyday driving through the same dip - same scramble, same old shit, different voice - but still same old shit... "We need more", FUCK YOU!!! Work for more... why must innocent people answer for the mistakes of the idiots before us?

Always alone... sitting in my own thoughts, sitting... alone in my own thoughts, memories... happy, angry, sad... lonely memories. Its not your fault, its not you, you did nothing wrong... nothing at all - you were the best you could be. A choice, a wrong turn, no turning back... time doesn't wait for us.

You were helpful, you gave where you could and when you couldn't - guilt filled you up like a leaking boat at sea.

Love broke you more than once and the last time, lingers more than the rest - emotional turmoil... I was broken, I fought hard, I fought like I should have fought, fought for something we both felt but one side, even though the love was felt... walked away for no real good reason - in fact there was no real reason ever given... just a bunch of stupid fears summoned up by a bad past. "Don't let your past affect your future or your present"

Third person writing, starting to wonder who this person is?

Could it be me?

Sitting on the edge of a boat in the middle of the sea... no one knows where you, I, you, I am, you are. Staring at the loaded gun wondering if it will hurt? Phone keeps beeping, BEEP "Where are you?", BEEP "Are you okay?", BEEP "Hey people keep calling me asking if they have seen you, what's up you okay?" BEEP "I miss u! Sorry I hurt you". Now before you think this is about a girl - its not.

Sun starts to set, beautiful, you start to see how peaceful the world is without the hustle of the Internet, news, radio, idiots, clocks - I hate clocks.

You hold the gun up to your head... hesitation, I wonder if it wil